A few weeks ago I posted a picture of a beautiful sunrise I witnessed on my way to work. Check out the The Latest Share on my Home Page. The picture doesn’t accurately reflect the beauty I saw that morning. I couldn’t believe how it felt to drive into that colorful, patterned, funneled sky. I just kept gasping in disbelief.
Anyway, I am off on a tangent. My point of this post isn’t to go on and on about sunrises (although I could). My point is mornings… I hate them. Mornings Bite. That morning of the fabulous sunrise turned out to be worth the early wakening, but that morning seems to be the exception in my life. Normally mornings are a big struggle for me. Anyone else wrestle with them?
Why Not Accept Mornings As Part Of Life?
You would think after 45 years of getting up every morning I would accept it. I should be used to the idea that every 24 hours will bring a rousing of the consciousness, an opening of the eyes and a roll out of the bed. None of this is new to me. Children live in my home, who we all know suck the sleep from your life. I have a job, which we all know requires timely attendance in the morning. I have a husband, but honestly he doesn’t count. No point in trying to keep up with him. He needs very little sleep. He prefers to stay up late at night AND rise very early in the morning. Whatever.
In any case, I should be used to mornings by now. But I am not. Mornings bite. I cringe at any sound that resembles an alarm. I try not to think about the moment I have to get out of bed because it depresses me. Like a child, I tell myself that no one understands what it is like to go through this process every morning. To loathe the sound of the alarm and hit it several times. To roll over feeling groggy and sleepy. Forcing yourself to stand up when half awake, walk to the bathroom and fumble around. To function as long as possible with the lights off in order to gently adjust to consciousness before introducing blaring lights.
History of Mornings Biting
Never have mornings agreed with me. In elementary school I often felt sick to my stomach in the mornings. Some days I couldn’t eat breakfast due to being half asleep and nauseous at the breakfast table. In high school I hit the alarm button several times in addition to my mom verbally urging me to get out of bed. And rarely was I on time for any morning duties in high school. It took me so long to wake up that everything got pushed back as far as getting ready for the day. It was not uncommon for one family member or another to be angry with me by the time I finally left the house.
I remember by dad shaking his head, wondering out loud how I would ever make it in college. For whatever reason I bucked up during that stage of my life, getting up and ready for class in a timely fashion because I had to. But not without great frustration, self pity and sometimes even fighting tears. Why did life have to be so hard? 😉
At the beginning of my marriage, my husband probably thought he had committed to a morning monster. He is a talker by nature, and also a morning person. I, on the other hand, am neither. The last thing I want to do in the morning is talk. I responded to his morning chatter by not responding. I let him talk, but I looked down, kept the room as dark as possible, and ate breakfast in silence. He learned not to needle me because things quickly turned uglier than the initial silent, dark lack of eye contact. I just couldn’t do it. Fortunately, these days he doesn’t try to interact with me for a good 30 minutes in the morning. It took him around 20 years to figure this out, but I am thankful for his intuitive learning.
How Does The Rest Of The World Do It?
Many times in my life I have wondered why I never hear of others struggling daily like I do. Just like me, everyone else gets up and goes to work. Some even look lively when they come in the door. How do they so this? I have heard others talk about all they have accomplished before work, like exercise, meal prep, watching the news. What??!!! Others don’t try to sleep as long as possible? What is with all this morning ambition?
I have contemplated changing. On occasion I have googled “how to become a morning person” and followed the on-line suggestions. On top of the misery I felt while trying to change my morning routine, the attempts only lasted a few days. I became more and more tired as the days went on and I quickly went back to my old ways.
I have also just plain wished I was someone else. How nice would it be to get my exercising done at 5am before my family woke up, and be done for the day! How wonderful it would be to have the time to cook breakfast for everyone! I could get my alone/quiet time at the beginning of the day and recharge my batteries for whatever the day may bring! But alas, that is just not me. I get light headed when exercising at 5am, no ambition to cook yet another meal, and not quite motivated to sacrifice sleep for quiet morning time. I have to stop whining about what I can’t accomplish and figure out how to get life done my way.
Slight Improvements
Over time my attitude has improved slightly despite the early day struggles. I know mornings have to be tackled, so every day I just bite the bullet. For some reason, over the last year or so I have been able to get out of bed on the first alarm ring. Maybe because I have gotten smarter about getting to bed earlier the night before. I have never wanted to sacrifice that evening time with my family, but a few things I have to do for myself and my own sanity.
I also just seem to know my morning routine so well that things usually go pretty smoothly. (It helps that my kids are old enough to get themselves up and ready.) If I need to push myself a little, I can do so without feeling stressed, scattered or pulled in all directions.
As an adult I have been able to eat a little for breakfast in the early morning. I am sure that helps give me a little energy. And I have discovered coffee in my adult life. Bonus.
So….baby steps. Always learning and trying and pressing on. Progress is good.
Maybe that comes with mid life. I am starting to agree with the old adage “life begins at 40.”
I totally understand. Never was a morning person and I hate coffee. So my husband and many others know I am just quiet in the mornings.